I love my daughter. Her iPad not so much. After months of lockdown I was having violent fantasies of what I’d like to do to the device. Most involved hammers, neighborhood dogs and open windows from very high floors.
Pre-Pandemic, my 9-year old daughter did not own an iPad, or a laptop, or any tech device. She would borrow mine now and then, but it was not a big thing in our house; she was too busy with life. Fast-forward many months into the pandemic, with an only-child quarantined at home in the city, and national mandates to not come within 6 feet of other people or leave our neighborhood, I feared we were at a point of no return. She now has her own iPad, my old laptop, and an addiction in the making. After months of on-screen school, followed by online homework, after-school activities, FaceTime and video games with friends, she was logging on for upwards of 8 hours a day. There was no easy answer: school and friends were essential to her well being and they were only available by staring at a screen for most of her waking hours. We needed to return to the world of the living and I had to get creative, fast.
So, I did the obvious: I grabbed my iPad and ordered supplies.
I was in search of captivating real-world activities that would take her off-screen and back to the 3-dimensional world. At 9, I had to grab her attention, offer variety, and ideally, make it somewhat interesting for me. I know these years of ample quality time with her are limited, so what better time to start a series of activities that we can do together regularly, and that can hopefully last over the years.
We tried many. Some fell flat, but a few stuck and gave us a shared interest and most importantly something appealing to do off-screen. And the good news is that it doesn’t require a global pandemic. I hope we’ll continue with some of these, together or solo in years to come. Here are a few that have peaked both our interests…
Journaling
My daughter had no less than 17 journals–blank books–all semi-started, with maybe a few pages completed, but with no real consistency or focus. I wanted her to have something real that she could look back on, and that perhaps gave her a nudge to help her write. With a bit of Googling, and perusing bookshops, I found a few I love.
Just Between Us: A Mother & Daughter Journal: Gives space for both mother and daughter to write, on every other page, with prompts. We can write whenever the mood strikes and leave the book out for the other to read what we wrote and write her own. It’s a living, breathing journal that we share and will be something she can keep forever as a memory of her childhood. Just Between Us
The Happy Self Journal: Keeps it simple. It asks her to complete lists and multiple choice questions to make it easy for her to write and keep track of her feelings. The Happy Self Journal
My Emoji Journal: Asks one question a day—again–keeping it simple and manageable, but some of the questions can be profound and get her to really think, such as “When was the last time you cried?”, “What animal best represents you?”, and “What makes you a good friend?”
My Emoji Journal
Mum, Tell Me: This one is for me to write and give to her. It asks questions about my life and family that I can spend time answering when I have a moment, slowly over time, so she will have a sort of memoir from her mother when she is grown. I write in it a bit at a time, and will give it to her when she is grown. Mum, Tell Me
I also always pack a travel journal for her when we take a trip and try to remind her to jot a few notes down every day to remind herself of the places she has visited. She’s at an age where the memories of her travels will stick, but will become hazy as time goes on, and the journal documents what she is experiencing in the moment.
There are tons of journals that offer prompts and opportunities to both parent and child to contribute, it just takes some digging to find one that’s right for you.
Cooking Class
My mother and grandmother were both incredible Swedish cooks, and I loved watching and helping in the kitchen. They did things the old-fashioned way and never took shortcuts, and I learned from them. (I just wish they had been better at jotting down their recipes).
I love cooking with my daughter and taking her through the process, explaining what each ingredient does and why it’s important, measuring, changing the recipes to suit our tastes and letting her take charge, now and then.
One of the best gifts I can give her is a love and knowledge of cooking. In my opinion, good food is one of the great joys in life.
Scrapbooking Together
My mother kept scrapbooks for my sister and me, big, monogrammed, leather-bound books that go up to the age of about 6 with a few school play programs not quite glued to the pages after that age. By the time my younger brother arrived, she was over it altogether. But growing up I still spent a crazy amount of time flipping through the pages; kids love looking back on their life.
I have drawers full of mementos from my daughter’s childhood waiting to be glued to a scrapbook. So, rather than making it for her, we are doing it together.
We pick through the piles of programs, cards, and mementos to include those that are “scrapbook worthy”, talking about those moments as we glue them down. It’s an opportunity to answer her questions, tell her about her life, and make the book a shared experience. And we will continue to do it, so when she is grown, I can give her a book that she contributed to making and tells the story of her childhood.
Story Telling
My daughter loves to hear stories from my life so we started a thing: every night at bedtime we sit in bed together and she throws out an age. I then have to tell her story of something that happened in my life when I was that age. It might be momentous– my wedding day, a new job or her birth–or it could be something fairly mundane, yet memorable. But I try to get the age just right-what was I doing at 12? 26? 40? Who was I at that age? Sometimes I have to think hard. She adores hearing the stories and for me it is a nice way to look back on my life and share it with my daughter. I keep a list going to keep track of what stories I have told her and to remind myself how rich my life has been.
Book Club
Our book club only has 2 members, but that’s all we need. We take turns reading to each other from books we each pick and then talk about the stories, what characters we like, and what we think will happen next.
Mine are usually those that I loved as a child and want to share with her such as the Narnia books and The Little House series, or in some cases never read (but always wanted to), such as The Wizard of Oz; (there is so much more that happens in the book than the movie-I never knew!) She sometimes picks silly books, such as Diary of a Wimpy Kid, or her obsession, Harry Potter.
It’s fun to trade off and share a love of reading and talk about the books and the characters-our own mini book club.
Paper Flowers
I have always loved beautifully made paper flowers. And being from San Francisco, I am a fan of Bay Area artist Tiffanie Turner. Her paper flowers are true works of art. Done right, they are a beautiful addition to a room. I bought Turner’s book, The Fine Art of Paper Flowers (Watson Guptill, 2017) and we went to work.
This is an art form that requires patience and thoughtfulness, which are two qualities I am trying to teach my daughter (and myself). It’s not easy, but the challenge was fun and I have a newfound admiration for the intricate beauty of a flower.
Materials Needed:
(Turner gives a comprehensive list of the materials required in her book)
- Crepe Paper
- Tacky Glue
- Wire
Art Studio: Watercolouring
In all my attempts at being an artist, watercolours terrified me the most. Perhaps because there’s not much room for mistake. With other art forms you can paint or paste or mold over something you don’t like. Watercolours don’t really allow for that.
But I do love the effect. So, I bought the materials and a couple how-to books and we spent an afternoon watercolouring. It’s a simple art form, doesn’t make a mess, and you never grow too old for it. The books helped guide us along the way.
Materials Needed:
- Watercolours
- Brushes
- Watercolour pencils (optional)
- Watercolour paper
Silly Animals
A throwback to younger years, I started saving paper towel and TP tubes, and other containers. With a bit of construction paper, paint, glue and scissors, we spent a silly Saturday morning making animals and listening to show tunes.
While this seems like an activity for younger children, I like to think our creations were a notch above; we had a blast and it was fun to be goofy and creative together.
Materials Needed:
- Empty containers, or cardboard TP or paper towel tubes
- Washable paint & brushes
- Coloured construction paper
- Scissors
- Glue
- Googly eyes (essential)
Catherine
Love the iPad comments and I feel your pain! I may have actually dumped ours in the trash once or twice. And the ideas for crafts was a welcome change – crafts are for any age. Miss you!