Our foray into the 21st century version of the roaring twenties came to a screeching halt before it had a chance to get started. Rather than roaring into the new decade, we have been isolating in our homes, cancelling plans and waiting for the next tidbit of information that will give us an inkling of when life will return to normal. Our lives have changed, as have our habits.
It has been said that many of the habits we develop during a crisis often stay with us once the crisis is over. If that is true, there are a few I have developed that might be worth continuing…
I Am Cooking for my Family
It doesn’t sound earth shattering, but we were eating out or ordering in, on average, 4-5 nights a week. As much as I love to cook–(I took evening classes at Peter Kump’s New York Cooking School in the 90s while I worked at Bon Appetit magazine)–I rarely spent any solid amount of time in the kitchen cooking for my family. It was more rushed, quick meals. I was busy, and cooking takes time.
These last several months have given me a chance to sharpen my skills. I have thrown myself into planning meals for the week, turning to my trusty pile of cookbooks, my old Silver Palate, held together with a piece of string, my ancient recipe file, filled with my mother’s and grandmother’s handwritten recipes, and my favourite cooking websites: Jamie Oliver, Epicurious, Barefoot Contessa, BBC Food and Food Network. I have found my meditation time in cooking: alone in the kitchen, I play music or a podcast and lose myself as I create a meal for my family. It feels good to know every ingredient that goes into a dish, and to play with the flavors. I set the table each night with a candle and play French cafe music. We now eat home-cooked meals almost every night and dinner seems more special, more real; it’s something I look forward to, an end to the day.
I Am Living in the Moment
The inability to plan ahead for anything-holidays, vacations, family visits, even lunch with a friend, has made me focus more on the here and now. With so many unknowns about when life will return to some semblance of normal, I find myself planning each day as it comes. And as eager as I am to be able to plan ahead again–to have activities to look forward to–I do feel that I am living more in the moment, and appreciating the present in a way that I did not so much before.
I Am Checking in With Friends & Family
Family and friends are everything to me, but I can be terrible at keeping in touch. Lately, I find myself on weekly video chats with my family and various groups of friends. It is so refreshing to have these regular check-ins. I find myself more inclined to reach out to friends around the world. This is something I hope will stick even when the world goes back to normal.
I Cherish the Little Things
With life is not speeding by in a flurry of activities, meetings, errands, and social engagements, or dropping my daughter at playdates, clubs and school, the days have slowed down–and the little things hold more importance. Small moments such as baking with my daughter, a game of backgammon, devouring a good book, a picnic in the park, an evening cocktail on our deck become something to savour; with the more exciting activities gone, these small moments become something to look forward to. And I find myself cherishing them and not taking them for granted.
I Have a New Relationship with my Daughter
Perhaps we are spending too much time together as I am now her mother, teacher, camp counselor, cook, sports coach, lunch partner and constant companion, but I am more in tune with her, her friends, school life, interests, talents, who she is becoming. We have private jokes, tea time, outings, and we share stories and secrets with each other. I know the years will go by quickly, and I will never again have this much solid time with her. It’s a gift.
We Are Having More Quality Family Time
We are trying to make the most of our ample time together with weekly game nights and movie nights, picnics and a various mad scientist projects.
Exploding Kittens is a hilarious card game that we often play during dinner. The Trivial Pursuit family edition has 2 sets of cards for kids and adults which keeps it fun for all. Movie night picks are on rotation so everyone gets a chance to choose and there is always something different.
I Learned Something New
With limited travel outside the home, and no social engagements, I find I have more time on my hands, and have been using it to learn a few new things. I have signed up for classes on Coursera, taking Yale’s most popular course, The Science of Well Being, taught by Laurie Santos, and others on technology, art history and design. I joined MasterClass, and so far have watched Kelly Wearstler, David Sedaris, Alice Waters and Annie Leibovitz teach the tricks of their trades. I taught myself WordPress and launched a blog (well hello there!)
I Have a New Understanding of Essential Workers
I have always had a great respect for first responders and teachers, but I am now more aware of the importance of postal workers, sanitation workers, grocery store cashiers and delivery people, and understand that they too are essential to our lives. The work they do truly helps keep our world in order.
Don’t get me wrong, life these days is not always rosy. There are temper tantrums and insomnia, we miss friends, family and human connection, we get sick of each other. I want this all to end as much as the rest of the world. I dream of the day I can gather with groups of friends, visit the grocery store without a mask and gloves, or just walk down the street without veering six feet out of the way when I see another human coming my way. I look longingly at the tube station near my house, yearning to be able to walk through the turnstile and GO somewhere without fearing for my life. And I am very aware that my struggles pale in comparison to people who are truly suffering because of this pandemic: the brave essential workers who are risking their lives to keep us alive, fed, and safe, the people who have lost their source of income and are worrying about how to pay bills and rent, and those who are at risk, sick or grieving, but cannot be with their families and friends in their mourning.
This pandemic will leave us all changed forever. But some of the habits we develop during this time, might be for the better. Most importantly, our appreciation for each other. We have stopped in our tracks and changed our lives for the greater good. And this makes us much more aware of the strangers in our lives. Perhaps one of the habits that will stick is our attitude towards others–that our very being can affect others in ways we do not see.
And that we are all in this together.
jenny cooley
This is simply amazing!
Kely
I love this and you (and Myrtle)!! So excited for more!
Becky DeMarco
I absolutely love this and your perspective. How can I share it?
It’s beautiful.
Ariane Trimuschat
Thanks Becky! You can share the link to the post with anyone via email or social media.
Thanks!
Ariane